Through the Rabbit Hole

Last week, I did great with my exercise. I realized looking back over my posts that I hadn't really mentioned how much improvement I am seeing in my endurance and strength. Kristin Steede had posted on her facebook that she burned 900 calories in a workout. Several other people responded to this saying that they too had burned 800, 900 some even 1100 calories in one workout. I thought I was doing good to burn 400! Well, as some crazy kind of challenge to myself, I set out to try to hit 900 calories in one workout last week.

Monday was insane! I was able to walk 2 miles and I did 30 minutes on the eliptical! I had only hit 20 before! I approximated the calories from the walk and from the eliptical, and I hadn't hit 900, same thing on Tuesday, I fell short. Wednesday, I said to myself, enough joking around...just do it and don't stop till you hit it! It took me one hour and 10 minutes on the eliptical (yes, you read that right...70 minutes!). I DID 70 MINUTES ON THE ELIPTICAL AND BURNED 1002 CALORIES!! : D I couldn't believe it! I couldn't walk either, but I did it! I worked out on Thursday and did really well too, but mainly my faite d'accompli last week was the 1002 calories and the 70 minutes (scary thing is, I might have been able to pull about 10 more minutes out of myself...although I was pretty smoked by the end of it.)

I found myself filing that feeling away. I never would have thought I had 70 minutes in me (I am doing good to hit 30), but I did it. I keep tucking these memories of success away for rainy days and *ahem* half-marathons in my future. I can do it. I know I can.


FAST FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND


Well, with as much success as I had at the gym last week, I thought this weekend would be great. I thought I could stay on target no problem...WRONG! If you have ever seen Alice in Wonderland (the Disney version)...do you remember when Alice finds the path home? She begins running down the red path thinking "Why, I'll be home in time for dinner!" and all of a sudden, she meets the little sweeping dog-like creature in the middle of the road and finds that it has swept away the red path she was so sure was leading her back home? She finds herself alone and lost in the woods with no path leading her to the next point. She sits down and cries and sings this song of which I find the first verse rather a propos to my tendencies:


I give myself very good advice
But I very seldom follow it
That explains the trouble that I'm always in
Be patient, is very good advice
But the waiting makes me curious
And I'd love the change
Should something strange begin


Why can't I just be patient? I feel like I sabotaged myself this weekend to a certain extent by being so curious about the scale last weekend. The worst part? I knew it was coming and I still let it happen. Sigh. I am racking my brain trying to figure out why I allowed myself to go off target like I did. I am not sure what the answer is. I guess I didn't totally blow it...instead of eating a gallon of ice cream it was sherbert (and not a gallon ; ) But still...why did I allow myself to binge on anything? Dr. Phil says in his book that there will always be setbacks, that it is those accomplishments (such as the ones I listed above) which we must cling to in these times. I sure am clinging to them today. The one positive thing I can say beyond all else is that: I still have no choice. I will lose this weight and I am not giving myself an option.

Today, I resolve not to dwell on the weekend and keep going. One of my favorite authors has a great quote:
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."
~ Samuel Beckett

And Confucius say:
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."
~ Confucius

Today I woke up, dusted myself off, have spent the majority of the day mentally collecting myself and I am ready to go again. I got to work today and I found that Miss. Demesha had returned the favor of my challenging her by giving me 3 CHALLENGES to overcome this week ; ) Her challenges for me for the week are:

1. DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF MORE THAN ONCE THIS WEEK.

2. @ least 5 days this week w/ a minimum of 20 minutes of cardio each day.

3. POSITIVE THINKING - I want you to write down anytime you have a negative thought this week (when you can at least) and how you CHOSE to make it a positive thought. Send them to me on facebook (personal message) or by email on friday. I want to hear about you taking your thoughts captive and turning them into positive ones.

I say, "Bring it, Mesha!". Thank you so much for this little push. It really put me back on track.

If you would indulge me to return to my "Alice In Wonderland" analogy, I'll close it by saying that after Alice had her good cry and then suddenly, the Cheshire Cat appeared and showed her a new way--see his half moon smile in the picture to the right? Sometimes, it just takes someone saying the slightest thing, giving us the slightest push to put us back on track and help us find the path again however obvious it may be. Demesha...thank you for being my "Cheshire Cat" this week. You helped me find another way and put me back on path: